"Terror Warnings"

Received from Lakewood Venter. Thanks.

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After the recent terror attacks in Europe, the EU nations have taken a "tough stance" on terrorism. UK Prime Minister Brown even went so far as to ban the words "terrorist" and "muslim" from being used in the same sentence! Tough, no?

The many members of the EU have taken these threats very seriously and have upgraded their terror alerts as follows:

ENGLAND:The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terroristthreats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated",oreven "A Bit Cross." (Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since theblitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.)

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "BloodyNuisance." (The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"warninglevel was during the great fire of 1666.)

FRANCE:The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terroralert level from "Run" to "Hide." (The only two higher levels in Franceare "Surrender" and "Collaborate.")

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France'swhiteflag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

ITALY:Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"to"Elaborate Military Posturing."
Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "ChangeSides."

GERMANY:The Germans also increased their alert state from "DisdainfulArrogance"to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."
They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

BELGIUM:Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the onlythreat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.