So you wanna be married for a night?

Received from MM. Props.

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A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are
both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping
room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over
sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the
upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the
woman saying, 'Ma'am,I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to
reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?  I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied. 'Just  for tonight, let's pretend
that "We're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. 'Get your own damn blanket!'

After a moment of silence, he farted.

Warning- Mature Content

Received from MM, thanks!
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A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the  country,
walks into a
tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which
reads:

CHEESE BURGER: $1.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50

HANDJOB: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he
walks up to the bar and
beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive
women serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the biker,

"are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The old biker replies,

"Well, wash your hands really good, I want a cheeseburger.